I know its been a long time since my fingers have met the keys other than on the Facebook page…too long in fact. I’ve been a busy girl, supporting my children through one of my roughest years yet as a mom, and trying desperately to focus on my day job so that I can take it to the next level. All important things. So what brings me back here you wonder? Well, let’s just blame it on Prince Charming.
A few weeks ago I was enjoying a lovely vacation with my family in Marathon Key, Florida. A wonderful destination with lots of activities and and delicious variations of key lime pie. As required, I dutifully checked my e-mails and voice mail messages and handled only the most urgent matters in an attempt to dedicate as much time to my family as possible. In the process, I scanned over a group of messages from some business contacts about a golf outing. I generally dismissed the e-mails because I knew I would be tied up in meetings on that particular date and went about my mission of soaking up as much sun and laughter from my little ones to carry me through the rough weeks ahead.
Upon my return to the office, I began the onerous task of digging out and catching up all the while reminding myself that the time off was well worth the agony I was then suffering. Then I read one particular e-mail again…”do you think Jane would caddy for us?” I was dismissive, thinking I was reading way to much into the e-mail. Maybe this particular guy knew that I hadn’t played golf since my youngest was born. Maybe he thought he was being funny or maybe he really did think that my highest and best use at that moment was to carry his golf bag. And yet, I shook it off and moved on with my work, but it didn’t end there.
A few days later, this same guy asked a colleague of mine, who was also on the earlier offending e-mail string, if he had asked me to caddy for them yet. Being a well-respected and upstanding gentlemen, my colleague responded, “no, I asked Jane to play but she is unfortunately busy.”
Fast forward another week to the golf outing, my name comes up because my colleague is thrilled that he can relax and enjoy the outing knowing everything is being taken care of by yours truly back in the office and boom… “she’s so beautiful.” Really? That’s what you’ve got? I am an accomplished professional woman in a male dominated field and yes, I happen to be beautiful both inside and out (if I do say so myself, but seriously? In his eyes I am apparently nothing more than a beautiful caddy. Well isn’t that special!
My mind began to fill with various position statements on gender equality in the work place [which I quickly reserved for a later post], but what stuck with me most was that this guy (who happens to be newly divorced) has a twelve year old daughter and she’s watching him! I doubt the man of her dreams, her soul mate, her Prince Charming is telling her she’s beautiful and then asking her to carry his bags and I pray to God he never does.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not opposed to men telling women they are beautiful or women telling men that they are handsome or anyone telling anyone else that they are attractive. It is human nature to need validation of our physical attractiveness. I just think there should be more to relationships. More to what draws you toward someone and makes you want to hold on to that person for eternity. Don’t just tell someone they are beautiful, show them you are worthy of their undying adoration, support and friendship. Henry Rollins said, “I want a soul mate who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t already know and make me laugh. I don’t care what you look like. Just turn me on.” That’s what its really all about right? Physical attraction all too often fades with age and laziness, but the ability to light a fire within someone’s soul, that is a fire that will never dim.